the power of no

The fine balance between “yes” and “no”

I am by nature an overachiever. If a friend needs a hand, I am instantly there to help. If I can take an extra course, I do. If I get called to volunteer or sub a class for someone, I try my best to be there. Although living like this can get exhausting, I am happy to help others and to learn from new opportunities. I give my time when I can, and at times, when I can’t.

My mother is also a woman who gives more of herself and her time than she can afford to give. For example, while I was growing up my mother worked a full-time job, raised two daughters, went to night school, cooked, cleaned, carpooled students to and from school, studied real estate and volunteered as a tutor, interpreter and caregiver in our local community. I am sure many of us are ourselves like this, or know women who are similar to my mother. She is truly amazing, yes, but the down side to my mother’s willingness to lead such a busy life was that she often left things unfinished. My mother did not get her real estate license, and, although she pursued numerous business plans, she never saw one through to the end. Saying “yes” to too much made her too busy to gain clarity and focus on her true goals.

Learning from my mother, I have found myself wanting to say “no” more often. I’ve come to learn that saying “yes” may not always be the best solution. Saying “no” is a contributing factor to leading a healthy, productive and happy life.  If we constantly say “yes” we will go off to do a thousand unfinished things and never completely, and successfully, finish one. The key comes in the balancing of “yes” and “no.”

How to balance yes and no

First know that it is 100% okay to say “no.” This means you can say “no” and not feel sorry about it.

It’s not rude to say “no,” it’s necessary.

“No” is the other side of “yes.” It is at times the more thoughtful and genuine response to a question.

Next time you are asked to give of yourself, take a moment to consider your response.

Before reluctantly saying “yes,” or thoughtlessly saying “no,” take a moment to think about how your decision will affect your life, attitude and being. Are you saying “yes” to please someone and harm yourself? If so, reconsider, and kindly say “no.”

Say “yes” all the time and you’ll become stressed, over exhausted and unable to finish things that matter to you.

If you always say “no,” you will close yourself off and not feel the fulfillment of reaching out to others.

It is the fine balance of both “yes” and “no” that will help you find the best version of yourself. You need both in your life in order to find your happiness, in order to reach your goals.

love is love

Live on and be yourself.

At last, we are moving forward on a national level. On this historic day of victory for gay rights–human rights, the right each person has to love whom ever they care to love–I am full of joy and pride for the people who have fought so hard to see this progress.

One of my yoga students gifted me Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ last album, The Heist. I have since begun playing my favorite song on the album, Same Love, when I teach vinyasa. It is fitting for today and it is a constant reminder that yes, we have come a long way, but, we still have a long way to go. About a dozen states so far recognize same-sex marriage…we can not stop now, because love is love is love is love.

5 thoughts for June

School is officially out today. Mark will be coming home exhausted and a bit sad about saying goodbye to his eighth graders.  Last days are strangely bittersweet. Less than a month ago I said goodbye to my poetry undergrads and I too came home with a mixture of excitement, sadness and relief in my chest.

A good last day of school activity that I’ve done for the past few semesters is one that requires each student to write his/her name on the top of a sheet of paper. Since I’ve taught creative writing workshops, the students are already sitting with their desks in a circle, so this helps with the activity. The paper then gets passed around in the circle in one direction and as each student receives each paper they write, in a sentence or two,  a compliment, a kind memory, or something they learned from their classmate {whose name is at the top of the sheet}. Eventually, each students receives their paper back again. I urge students to spend the last few minutes of class reading over it and to keep it for a rainy day or a stressful week throughout their undergraduate years. 

And now that it is officially Summer, I have written down my five thoughts of self-motivation for June. This is a new blog installment. I am a big list maker, I have to to-do, to-read and to-make lists everywhere. So I decided to make my life easier by narrowing things down and to hold myself accountable for my five each month by sharing them here, with you. 

Silence, an act of love

I have been blogging for a few years now and, while I do love engaging with the internet community, there are times when I need to disconnect, to withdraw from the sharing, to engage in the present. If I have taken anything away from my yoga practice, it is this: the importance of being actively present and of silencing the mind to connect to the moment at hand. That being said, during this last stretch of leaving my blog for the past two months, I gave myself the necessary time to reflect on what I want to focus on.

So, what’s happening and what’s in store? I have been learning to write grants with a community outreach arts organization. I am also juggling a few writing and translation projects, and, after just completing my MFA, I am trying to take things slowly for this summer, giving myself time to breathe before starting a PhD program in the fall.

But, let’s go back to silence, to the actual sensation of not speaking, not making a sound, not being interrupted by thoughts of menial tasks. Imagine a silence that awakens the other senses. A silence that requires us to listen. It’s tough to imagine this kind of silence when we have our mobile devices constantly flashing with texts and updates. Yet, this silence seems to be a rather intricate part of our human experience. We are silent when we need to take something in completely. For example,  I’ve watched people close there eyes at concerts and poetry readings, to silence one of their senses and to better take in the music and words.

This weekend, while in a two hour yoga class that was dedicated to remembering the Boston Marathon, I experienced this kind of silence, a silence that enveloped me completely. The class centered around sending love to the victims and their families through a heart opening practice that ended in a meditation for peace. It was during this meditation that I felt a silence that filled me with love. This silence took me simultaneously inside and outside of myself. Meditation itself, seems to be an act of love. Considering monks who dedicate themselves to meditating alone in obscure caves, they too are dedicating themselves to love.

So, I’ll leave you with this today. Let yourself be silent, let yourself be love.

Gloria

spring & all

Yes, it is June now. Yet, I feel as though spring is just beginning.

Spring and All [By the road to the contagious hospital]

by William Carlos Williams

I

By the road to the contagious hospital
under the surge of the blue
mottled clouds driven from the
northeast-a cold wind.  Beyond, the
waste of broad, muddy fields
brown with dried weeds, standing and fallen

patches of standing water
the scattering of tall trees

All along the road the reddish
purplish, forked, upstanding, twiggy
stuff of bushes and small trees
with dead, brown leaves under them
leafless vines-

Lifeless in appearance, sluggish
dazed spring approaches-

They enter the new world naked,
cold, uncertain of all
save that they enter.  All about them
the cold, familiar wind-

Now the grass, tomorrow
the stiff curl of wildcarrot leaf
One by one objects are defined-
It quickens:  clarity, outline of leaf

But now the stark dignity of
entrance-Still, the profound change
has come upon them:  rooted, they
grip down and begin to awaken

– See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15536#sthash.NclZQt8r.dpuf

coconut hot chocolate with a kick

Pure, rich & spicy…this is hands down the best hot chocolate I have ever made!

What you’ll need: *recipe makes 2-3 servings

• 2 cups of unsweetened coconut milk
• 1/2 tsp cardamon powder
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 cup raw cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup dark chocolate chips
• 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

What you need to do: Bring coconut milk to a boil in a medium saucepan. Lower heat to a simmer and add cardamon, cinnamon, and cocoa powder. Stir well. In a separate bowl mix chocolate chips, cayenne and 1/4 cup of hot coconut milk, stir until creamy. Then add thick chocolate mixture into the saucepan. Bring hot chocolate to a light boil, stir and top off with some cardamon.

What better to warm you up than with hot chocolate and some Hendrix?

While sipping this delicious concoction, I recommend you listen to Jimi Hedrix’s unreleased material that was recently featured on NPR. Click here to listen.

roasted vegetable fall pumpkin curry

Happy fall friends, we have recently been obsessed with curries, so we came up with a recipe of our own. It is perfect for a cool fall evening.

What you’ll need-

• 2 sweet potatoes, cubed
• 2 yellow squashes, sliced
• 2 cups brussles sprouts, halved
• 3 cups of fresh or frozen peas
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• 1 can of coconut milk
• 1 cup of pureed steamed pumpkin or 1 can of pumpkin puree
• 2 tsp. fresh ginger, minced
• 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
• 1/4 tsp. whole cloves
• 1 tsp. garam masala
• 1 tsp.  cinnamon
• 1 tsp. tikka masala
• 1/2 tsp. turmeric

How to make it-

Place sweet potatoes, squashes and sprouts on a baking pan, drizzle 2 tsp. of olive oil and a bit of salt.  Roast vegetables at 375 degrees fahrenheit for 20-30 minutes{toss veggies over mid way through}. While the vegetables are roasting, cook onion in oil {we used 2 tsp. olive oil} until golden brown in a deep cooking stove-top pot. Add coconut milk, pumpkin, peas ginger and all other spices. Stir all ingredients and then reduce to a low-medium heat. Cook for 15-20 minutes. Add roasted vegetables to the curry. Lower heat and stir until both curry and vegetables are mixed together. Serve warm over rice or quinoa, or enjoy it on its own. It is a heart warming and delicious meal.

A cover of an 80’s classic, performed by La Lucha & Jun Bustamante. Enjoy!

vegetarian ceviche

While visiting with family in Medellín, we were delighted to have eaten some of the best home cooked meals and family recipes.  Every morning, afternoon and evening was a new adventure.  We spent an evening with cousin Luisa Fernanda and friend Luis Fernando.

Here is the amazing dish we encountered.

Recipe: 

CEVICHE VEGETARIANO

What you’ll need-

• 1 pack of extra firm tofu
• 1 tsp smoked paprika
• 1 whole chopped onion
• 2 tsp Earth Balance or olive oil
• 3 red bell peppers
• 4 limes, juiced
• 2 oranges, juiced
• 1/2 cup tomato paste
• 1 bunch fresh cilantro, chopped
• 2 tsp salt
• some good dance music
• mucho amor (lots of love)

How to make it-

 Add olive oil and onion to a hot stove-top pot. Brown onion. Add tofu, peppers, paprika and salt. Brown and season tofu and peppers over a medium-high heat. Stir in tomato paste,  cilantro, lime and orange juice. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours before serving. Serve with your favorite crackers.

Music:

When walking along the streets or entering someones home in Colombia, you’re likely to not only smell a wonderful dish, but you’ll also hear the most honest and beautiful music.  On one occasion, we went to another relatives home to find a Tango group set up.

Here is some amazing live Tango:

food, music & adventure in colombia

Hello again, this post is long overdue. We were lucky to spend about a month in Colombia this summer and we have so much to share with you. We experienced music & food in three very different cities: Medellín, Cartagena and Bogotá. .

We’ll begin by giving you a visual tasting:

Bakeries line the streets of downtown Bogotá. Shelves piled full with warm and delicious homemade empanadas and bread.

A light and blissful maracuja crepe.

Vibrant homes near Medellín.

Inside the Totumo mud volcano near Cartagena.

La bandeja paisa, a typical breakfast in Medellin. We ate the meat-free version.

A classic topped with fresh manchego cheese and pepper.

Cartagena is a beautiful city that has worked to preserve its architectural history.

Dinner on Cartagena’s historic Plaza San Diego.

Colombians know how to make a pizza: thin, crispy and topped with fresh basil.

Vegetarian restaurant in Cartagena served veggie stacks as an appetizer.

Fresh mango juice with coconut milk.

Mark enjoying his fresh mango juice.

Avocado, spinach, mushroom and pepper wrap in Bogotá.

Enjoying a cup of Colombian coffee 180 meters below sea level in Zipaquirá’s Cathedral of Salt.

One night while wandering through the streets of Cartagena’s Walled City, we heard Cuban music and were instantly drawn to La Vitrola. We enjoyed a few drinks, carpiriña (me), piña colada (Mark) and listened to some of the best live Cuban music on earth. La Vitrola is a food and music lover’s haven.

We even got to hang out with La Vitrola’s incredible band.

Like I said earlier, we have so much to share still from the trip. We will be posting a vegan ceviche recipe and a Colombia inspired  playlist in the next few days.

Thank you for reading,

Gloria & Mark

Breakfast in Colombia

This is what we had for breakfast…

more delicious food, recipes & music to come soon!