The fine balance between “yes” and “no”
I am by nature an overachiever. If a friend needs a hand, I am instantly there to help. If I can take an extra course, I do. If I get called to volunteer or sub a class for someone, I try my best to be there. Although living like this can get exhausting, I am happy to help others and to learn from new opportunities. I give my time when I can, and at times, when I can’t.
My mother is also a woman who gives more of herself and her time than she can afford to give. For example, while I was growing up my mother worked a full-time job, raised two daughters, went to night school, cooked, cleaned, carpooled students to and from school, studied real estate and volunteered as a tutor, interpreter and caregiver in our local community. I am sure many of us are ourselves like this, or know women who are similar to my mother. She is truly amazing, yes, but the down side to my mother’s willingness to lead such a busy life was that she often left things unfinished. My mother did not get her real estate license, and, although she pursued numerous business plans, she never saw one through to the end. Saying “yes” to too much made her too busy to gain clarity and focus on her true goals.
Learning from my mother, I have found myself wanting to say “no” more often. I’ve come to learn that saying “yes” may not always be the best solution. Saying “no” is a contributing factor to leading a healthy, productive and happy life. If we constantly say “yes” we will go off to do a thousand unfinished things and never completely, and successfully, finish one. The key comes in the balancing of “yes” and “no.”
How to balance yes and no
First know that it is 100% okay to say “no.” This means you can say “no” and not feel sorry about it.
It’s not rude to say “no,” it’s necessary.
“No” is the other side of “yes.” It is at times the more thoughtful and genuine response to a question.
Next time you are asked to give of yourself, take a moment to consider your response.
Before reluctantly saying “yes,” or thoughtlessly saying “no,” take a moment to think about how your decision will affect your life, attitude and being. Are you saying “yes” to please someone and harm yourself? If so, reconsider, and kindly say “no.”
Say “yes” all the time and you’ll become stressed, over exhausted and unable to finish things that matter to you.
If you always say “no,” you will close yourself off and not feel the fulfillment of reaching out to others.
It is the fine balance of both “yes” and “no” that will help you find the best version of yourself. You need both in your life in order to find your happiness, in order to reach your goals.
Cup of Glo 